I am sure this will be a surprising blog to most people I know. This is an attempt to build relationships and be honest with those I care about. To share my story of struggle.
Lately, I have been reflecting on my own journey. In the past 8 months I have changed both physically and mentally. This post is to act as inspiration to those who feel helpless or lost on their journey. I promise you I have been there. I have struggled with you. I have mentally beaten myself down, hated the person I saw in the mirror, and I cried. I don’t live in that place anymore though. Here is my story.
When I was 13 years old my body was changing– just like everyone’s, but mine changed differently. As I was completing the end of 7th grade, I struggled to find energy. I would go home and nap all afternoon, I gained an unthinkable amount of weight and I just couldn’t shake this feeling. My mother didn’t think this was normal, and it wasn’t. So I landed myself in the doctors. This is when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. For those of you who don’t know, this is when you have an abnormally low activity of the thyroid gland. This tiny gland in the throat that has the ability to affect everything in your body, all of your hormones, wasn’t working the way it was supposed to. At the age of 13, I was chained to a little pill that would either determine whether I would have energy or if my metabolism would work. I was deemed broken and imperfect during a time when I was learning who I was and growing to who I would be. This diagnosis latched onto me mentally for the next 10 years, until now. I had always seen my hypothyroidism as being something that happened to me because I was unlucky. I played a victim and I often thought that I would never get out this life I was given, I would always be battling my weight with this deficiency in the back of my mind.
Hypothyroid does not make you a victim.
When I started crossfit I was still battling my mindset, but after a couple of weeks I realized that the only thing that was holding me back was myself. I started the paleo diet because after ten years of research (a.k.a. googling) I saw that soy and wheat were all things that could affect the thyroid gland and I wanted to give myself the best chance to change my life. Now here I am, 8 months later. I am a fighter, I have lost 30 pounds and now instead of trying to lose weight I am battling to gain weight in the form of muscle. I had to work every day to fight this. I had to change the way I saw my diagnosis. I had to work for what I wanted to change. And now, I don’t even think about being paleo as a diet or crossfit as a workout, it’s just my life.
The transformation of my body has been a very humbling and motivating experience, and I am so thankful that I have something to show for all the soreness I have felt, but what I am most pleased with is that I no longer hate myself or feel badly for myself. I am mentally changed. I think that a lot of people have been or are in the situation I was, and I am here to tell you that it is not an easy battle, but you don’t have to do it alone. The hardest step to take is the first one, because you have to walk into the unknown, with only hope. Surround yourself with people who will help build you up, who will push you, who will motivate you, but most importantly those who will give you honest and true feedback.
The struggle is real within everybody. Don’t let your deficiencies define you or give you an excuse.
I challenge you to tell me your battle? Don’t struggle alone.